ZeeGeezer

Since I'm reading The Epicure's Lament ...

The only interesting thing I did over the holidays is cook. I've fed Sistopher pretty well overy day for the last two weeks. Highlights:

• ante-Christmas-Eve: fettucine bolognese with home-made simmered-for-four-hours-with-a-quart-of-milk-and-a-bottle-of-wine bolognese sauce.
  
• 
  Christmas Eve: gumbo as previously mentioned
  
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  Christmas Day: roast lamb as previously mentioned
  
• 
  Third Day of Christmas: wonderful lasagne made with left-over bolognese sauce
  
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  Sixth Day of Christmas: lamb dopiaza made with left-over roast lamb
  
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  New Year's Day: slow-roast beef, roast potatoes, glazed carrots with peas, Meyer lemon meringue pie
  
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  Jan. 2: macaroni beef casserole made with left-over bolognese sauce, topped with buttered panko, and fresh-grated asiago and parmesan cheese.
  

The other days were left-overs. I didn't make tourtière, Dutch pea soup, oliebollen (think Tim Horton's "Dutchies"), croquettes or mince pies. It would have been nice to, but there's only so much food two people can eat. And it would be nice sometime to have a Dutch New Year's Eve party - lovely fried things, like croquettes, oliebollen, egg rolls, and Dutch drinks like advocaat and punch.

And I met someone. Last Thursday (Fifth Day of Christmas - 5 Go old rings) Spent the night at his place, actually. So call me a skank. It was very nice. Hot. He said the nicest things about me. Recognized the scent I was wearing (Lagerfeld) and said it was his favorite. We'll see what happens. I'm seeing him again tonight. Ostensibly to watch Sordid Lives. He's in a band, so I'll call him The Rocker. What could go wrong? Well, he's apparently in rehab. And he works at the local sex-toy/leather shop. And he used to be (he claims) into spanking. Lives in a pretty seedy part of downtown San Jose. But apart from that, he's a really nice guy. Cute too, in a fifty-ish kind of way. Just the kind of unshaved look I go for.

Went house-hunting with Sistopher yesterday.

The Dildo Speaks!

So even though this is all pathetic and depressing, at least some words are being posted. Actually, I feel much better today than I did yesterday. Probably because some guy on Silver Daddies wanted to hook up with me last night. I demurred because I'd just eaten a gillion cookies and was feeling less than lissome. But it made me feel better. And I might hook up with him tonight. So far none of the other potential dates from the various dating sites I'm wasting my money on has actually materialized. Not the skinny Jewish guy from Palo Alto who sounds nice, nor the chunky dirty-ish guy from up the road who seems hot. But I am just a cock-eyed optimist, so I keep trying, keep sending carefully worded missives out into the ether, and keep hearing ... nothing at all. I wish I knew what the secret signal I seem to be sending out is.

Did I tell you bothall that I hooked up with AsianPrimePharmaJim last week? First time the Geezer's sowed any oats since the great GBF débacle. And it was nice. He's awfully nice. No rancour over my having just abandoned him a year or more ago. Not many strings (and those only of my making). But I haven't called him since. I should, but Christmas has been in the way. Mind you, he hasn't called me, either. And he's in this long-distance relationship. With a guy in Toronto. Many frequent-flyer miles have accrued in the past year, apparently. So I don't think I'm much more than a highly realistic dildo in this triangle. A dildo that sucks, as it were.

PharmaJim and I hooked up a few times back (or maybe just the once) at the end of 2003 and into 2004. But as my thing with Johnny developed, I unceremoniously dumped him. Then, at the beginning of the month, I sent out a mass email begging for donations for my ALC ride. And PharmaJim (who's still in my address book) donates $100 and sends me the nicest email, saying that he'd like to see me again. So, we played telephone tag for a bit, and finally end up talking on the phone. Would he like to come over? Sure.

Will I put out for $100? Sure.

Yesterday I paid Sistopher's cellphone bill (($950!!!). And fed him leftover gumbo and leftover trifle. If this bequest he's getting is some complex fantasy of his, I'll be so thoroughly fucked. And not in a nice way.

Oh, and I got a Christmas card from the GBF.

In which I cheat on the boyfriend.

Friday was the first fruit of this part-time thing. Sistopher and I had a girls' day out. Started out with lunch at Los Gatos Cafe. We showed up at 10:00 on Friday morning and had to wait for a table. Doesn't anybody work anymore?

Part of the answer came from the party that was seated next to us a few minutes later. Three ladies who brunch. They came in wearing their workout gear. And the workouts were clearly highly effective, especially since they ordered French toast or omelettes with fruit on the side. And they proceeded to talk about their renovations, and architects and designers. One woman was flashing a diamond about the size of the Amersfoortse Kei. From which I gather that, in Los Gatos, husbands work; wives don't. I felt like Marty McFly.

Then it was over the mountain towards Highway 1 and Monterey. We got to Monterey to spend lunchtime with the delegates to the Pool Industry Expo. They were an interesting mix of fat-ass pool salesmen and hot, Hot, HOT pool installers. It made for a very pleasant excursion. We generally had an old-man's outing. Walking around some, sitting on a bench ogling the PIE trade, watching cute dads with their infants at the beach, going to see the sea lions at the end of the pier.

But Sistopher wanted to see the "main shopping street" that he remembered from a previous visit. And we couldn't find it. He described it as a street full of interesting shops and with a tree-lined median strip. No such street exists in Monterey We inquired at Starbuck's and it turned out the street he was thinking of was in fact in Carmel.

So it was off to Carmel. Via constructive getting-lost in Monterey.

I'd not been before. And Carmel is very nice. Although, by the time we got there, at 4-ish, it was foggy and cold. Lots of shopping available for ladies-who-brunch. Sistopher bought himself a walking-stick. We dined at a Nouveau thai restaurant. OK, but not spectacular. And they kept coming back to say that what we had ordered was sold out, so could we choose something else. Since were are among the first customers of the evening, this seemed odd.

Home to Sistopher's at about 8:00, where we watched Le Drôle de Félix.

Then home, where I went online and hooked up with PackerFan for the first time in about 2 years. Some people would say that what we did doesn't qualify as sex. Nonetheless, it was eminently satisfactory. It was nice seeing him again. He lives nearby (we're practically neighbours), and he has a memorable member. Kisses a bit like a wet fish though. He drives up to San Francisco 3 times a week for rugby practice. Back in my own bed at 2:00.

Saturday I was down in the dumps. Went to FrontRunners. And then mooched around the house for the rest of the day. Didn't go to the GBF's. Partly out of guilt for hooking up the night before. Partly I was pissed off at being expected to adhere to his agenda. I wanted to go for a bike ride. He wanted to do gardening. So he did gardening, and would call me when he was done. I updated my Quicken accounts. And discovered that I shouldn't have lent Sistopher $5,000 last week Oops.

When he called me he said he was going to have a nap and would call me when he woke. I decided to go for a bike ride. Got all my gear on. And couldn't decide where I wanted to ride to, so I took all the gear off again.

Eventually I decided I'd take two of the three pairs of pants we'd bought in Macy's last week back. So off I went. Macy's. Had a quick walk around the mall, feeling depressed. Back to Macy's where I went through the kitchen department and bought some stuff. Back in the car I remembered I needed new lightbulbs for the bathroom. So it was off to Target, where I got the lightbulbs and some more stuff. Unfortunately, they also had Halloween candy on sale. Then, since I was in the neightborhood, I went to Safeway and bought some more stuff.

So an evening of retail therapy. And home to tuna melt on English muffins and watching the first two episodes of season 2 of Six Feet Under.

Yesterday, up betimes, as Pepys would say. And on my bike to ride to the GBF's. That's 22 miles. The ride took 1 hour, 33 minutes. And ruined me for the rest of the day. I just had enough energy for a bit of light sex and a trip to Costco. Where we bought oyster mushrooms and shiitake mushrooms on sale to make a wild mushroom risotto to have with the lamb chops for dinner.

And I ended up spending the night there.

Funny how, when I'm with him, I can easily see moving in with him. When I'm not with him I can think of nothing worse.

A trivial rant

I have a question:

When did the accepted spelling for the short-form of microphone change from "mike" to "mic"? I think the pronunciation-based spelling mike is much less confusing than the strange mic, which I can't help but rhyme with "dick". This is another blow to the simple rules of English orthography, on the part of some weird se(c)t of abbreviation purists.

Compliments

Had a date last night. Well, actually a planned rencontre at my place. So, not a date, since a date involves going out. A long talk (his life story) and then he gave me a massage, which led to other things. As he was leaving he said "You have a wonderful cock". Well, is there a better way to make a boy feel special? Especially since the only thing I did was lie back and enjoy. Been glowing all day. And he wants to see me again.

Intelligent, successful, healthy. Likes my member. Drinks red wine. Sounds like a keeper to me. So what if he's older than me? And he has twins, about the same age as mine. Let's call him USAPrime (his tattoo!)

South Beach Report - Day 11

Still 185 lb this morning. Another of the continuing set of minor miracles, since the waggon left me way behind this weekend. Saturday was dinner with the GBF after having spent most of the afternoon at work (first time I've worked on a Saturday in years!). Sauteed boneless chicken breast with a port reduction and asparagus and shiitake risotto. With a nice Chardonnay. Then we went out for dessert to the Bookstore Cafe in Mountain View. I had carrot cake and café au lait.

Before dinner I treated the GBF to a most luxurious candle-lit bath, since he'd been painting all day. Afterwards there was a major nookie event. I can confidently assert that my lube is way better than his lube.

Yesterday I again went into work for the afternoon. Lunch was brought in - chicken burrito. Then I came home and made bouef au canard froid (half a bottle of Beaujolais left over from Monday night and a quarter of a bottle of Chardonnay left over from Saturday). But it ended up being greasy and gave me heartburn. Serves me right for buying shortrib from Costco. And I made dumplings to have with it, which were a long way from being successful.

Today work again, all day. Someone brought in Krispy Kremes. GRRR. I've only had half of one, though. And I'll go to the gym at lunchtime, assuming they're open.

Last night at 9:00 there was a choice between watching some desperate house-son come out on Desperate Housewives or watching Angels in America once more. Guess which I chose.

I'm wondering if going carbless has revealed that I might have a mild gluten allergy - GERD has set in after the weekend's debauch. Experiments will be conducted.

Update: 186 lb in the gym at lunch. Serves me right for having 3 half doughnuts this morning. And that was before coming back and having pizza (roll on normal work days!) Hot uncut Indian boy in the shower almost caused me serious embarassment.

Left-overs

By the way, the evening with Aged Newbie was fun.  Instead of going out I brought him home for dinner.  I fed him left-over vegetable curry and freshly-made curried spinach with mushrooms.  The curry that was left over from the fairly disastrous meal with Johnny on his birthday (everything about that day was a disaster).

He (A.N. that is) was wearing a leather contraption under his jeans.  Shorts that laced up on the side. He'd apparently bought them at the Folsom Street fair, but had been too shy to wear them out in public.  And he brought his vibrating 9-inch dildo.

We fooled around with that for a bit.  That thing takes some getting used to!  Watched Latter Days.  He gave me a massage.  With release.  Then I took him home.  Got lost in San Jose on the way.

FUBAR

Apparently Johnny and I are not going to be an item. I'm not entirely sure why. And I'm devastated. I cried bawled in the car yesterday after I dropped him off at J's house for the last time. So much so that I didn't think it was safe for me to take the freeway home and I drove through San Jose instead. I think I may have been trying too hard not to intrude on his time or space. I was painfully aware that he only had 3 days here and a lot of things to do and people to see. But he was withdrawn from the first minute I saw him in the airport. He seemed reluctant to let me touch him, and he certainly didn't touch me. I've only now thought of that. He didn't voluntarily touch me once during the time we were together. He let me touch him; he let me hold his hand; he let me rub his feet; he let me massage his back. But he never reached out to touch me.

And then he had the nerve to accuse me of being distant.

None of this was helped by the fact that in the intervals of not seeing Johnny I was fucking the GBF like a rabbit. He asked me over for brunch on Friday and when I arrived he answered the door without a shirt on, having just stepped out of the shower. Brunch was considerably delayed while there were several rimming episodes and things moved on from there. Then on Christmas Day he came over for a bike ride. We went round the Baylands for an hour or so. Then we had a wonderful bath together, which led to more rimming episodes and things moving on from there (me on the bottom for a change).

His Christmas present(s) was/were extravagant. Embarassingly so. The box contained:

• a platter depicting 3 koi in a pond, from here, plus a display stand for it;
• this jacket;
• a PrAna pullover like this one, but nicer;
• a Jamba Juice logo cycling jersey in orange and red which is really cool, but isn't on their web site

Each one was something I'd said I wanted when we were out together, and he got them all. Any one of them would have made a perfect gift. All of them is way over the top and makes me feel inordinately obligated. Hence the hot monkey sex on Christmas afternoon.

So I'm back to "what to do, what to do". The GBF is in love with me. I like having sex with him and can easily spend time with him, but he's not interesting enough. He doesn't fit well enough. And Johnny has pushed me away.

To make matters worse, my aged newbie from the other week is taking me out for dinner tonight. And it will probably end with some activity involving a vibrating dildo and/or cuffs and/or massage oil.

In which I become a vile seducer

I almost forgot to talk about my date on Saturday.

Sistopher has been nagging me to reply to the ads on  Craigslist and to post an ad myself.  He thinks it's wonderful and reports to me his hook-ups with various 20- and 30-somethings; I think it's really pretty creepy.  But I have replied to a couple of ads.  And one was from this 60-year-old guy who's just coming out.

On Saturday morning we met.  I collected him from his apartment complex and we went for breakfast in Willow Glen.  Had a nice chat about coming out, his history, my history.  Afterwards he said he wanted to go to my place.  And we did, where he had his first sexual experience with a man.  Golly. 

He'd been having this fantasy of being restrained.  With cuffs and such.  And he'd gone so far as to make a special trip to San Francisco to one of the sex shops on Folsom St. and bought cuffs and (ahem) a monster dildo.  A vibrating dildo.  He also said he'd been fantasing being spanked.

Now none of this stuff enters into any of my fantasies.  But I thought it might be liberating to oblige.  So after he took off first his clothes and then mine, I put the cuffs on him, hands behind his back.  Led him to the bed.  He was hugely aroused (well, duh! - his first time!).  And I introduced him to a few of the things men can do with and to each other. 

After about 10 minutes he decided he didn't really need the cuffs after all and could be a bit more comfortable.  Then I was introduced to one of the things men can do with a dildo. And all I can say about that is, Oh my!  I guess I will have to date Sistopher's friend with the 9-inch dick now.

I found his joyous reaction to everything we did hugely entertaining and quite touching.  And he seemed to have multiple orgasms, although he never ejaculated.  Eventually I became a bit concerned about him getting over-excited and having a stroke or heart attack or something.  So we wound down (having fully met my needs) and had a cuddle and a bit more of a talk.  Then I took him to Palo Alto from where he took the train home.

He was very concerned about the risk of infection.  As I suppose he should be.  But I think he's had some bad information: he made me put on a condom for oral sex.  As far as I know the risk of transmission of HIV during oral sex is negligible.  And having a lubricated condom in your mouth - eew!  It's a wonder it didn't put him off for life.  But I couldn't convince him otherwise.

Spiffy

I wrote a post yesterday but clicked the wrong button in Ecto and it unceremoniously closed the program and I lost my post. Naughty, naughty Ecto. So let me try to reconstruct. Not that it was all that interesting. My conversation with the therapist this morning was much more interesting, but I'm trying to avoid that.

I bought a tux yesterday (i.e. Wednesday). It is, as the car dealers say, "pre-owned". I'd looked in several thrift stores for a tux, but there were none that fit. This one does, although I was upset to learn that the good fit came in a size larger than I had been expecting.

I've never owned a tux before. And I've only worn one twice - once for my wedding (I shudder to think of that one - Holy 70's Batman! A grey tux). And then last year for the chorus' Christmas concert. Just haven't moved much in the tux-wearing strata of society. But now I'm available for James-Bonding, and wedding singing. And choral galas.

I'm available for several guys at the gym too, but that is completely different. And certainly doesn't involve wearing a tux. The really, really cute guy, the Keanu Reeves look-alike, and I said hi to each other in the shower yesterday. But he's 25 years younger than me. He spends a lot of time looking, though.

Speaking of which, it's time for a little cardio. And a little sightseeing.